21 Things We’ve Learned from the Asia Cup

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As we continue our preview for the World T20, Dan McGrath goes full Buzzfeed in reviewing the Asia Cup. Never go full Buzzfeed.

1. Qualifying tournaments suck

JUST LET THE ASSOCIATES PLAY DAMMIT!

2. 2016 is the year of the Mankad

We can’t wait until the World T20 Final is decided by one.

3. Associates are afraid of Mark Chapman

The best NZ-Hong Kong connection since Danny Morrison started calling them ‘HONKERS’.

4. Babar Hayat? More like Babar #CanBat

Still can’t win them a game though.

5. Afghanistan are the new Pakistan

Prodigiously talented but wildly inconsistent. And under a constant match fixing cloud.

6. The UAE aren’t terrible

#6

…yet they didn’t even qualify for the World T20.

7. The white ball can actually swing

#7

Like, it really did curve in the air.

8. Bangladesh quicks are actually kinda decent now

#8

Things I never thought I’d write, but Mashrafizkin isn’t a bad trio.

9. …but their best fast bowler is still a left arm spinner

#9

Only Mustafizur bowls SLA at 130km/h.

10. Shakib is The Hulk

#10

Bangladesh’s star player is actually a green stump-smashing rage-monster.

11. …but Mahmudullah is the real hero

#11

Captain Marmadoola FTW.

12. Rohit Sharma is a hack

#12

…but one who scores T20 runs with stunning regularity.

13. Pakistan still can’t bat.

#13

Like, why is Khurram Manzoor in the team?

14. …but India look a settled team

#14

They even have a fast-bowling all-rounder!

15. Meme early-2000s bowlers are making a comeback

#15

ASHISH NEHRA!! MOHAMMAD SAMI!! YUVRAJ SINGH!! RYAN CAMPBELL (wait what, he’s bowling now?)

16. Don’t write off Yuvraj Singh just yet

#16

Easy to do after he played the worst T20 innings in history in the 2014 World T20 final, to be fair.

17. Sri Lanka make no sense

#17

Their batsmen are their best bowlers, and their bowlers are their best batsmen…

18. …and Tillakaratne Dilshan kinda sucks at both these days.

#18

#PleaseRetire

19. But Rangana Herath is still an absolute hero

#19

#PunchesAboveHisWeight #WhichIsHigherThanItProbablyShouldBe

20. Mohammad Amir has fixed his career.

#20

Heh.

21. …and India are pretty good at this whole T20 thing

#21

When the dust settles, Kohli’s a boss and Dhoni still got it.

…but how much of this will actually be relevant come the real thing, the World T20?


Enjoy irreverent content like this? Check out MTW: After Dark, launching soon.

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